CCC Mids Section Rallye

[mountainmanUK]

if I do go it won't be in the Renault

Have you unloaded the 'toilet' then Billy?

[cavmad]

Yes Dave, today as it goes. Had an offer I couldn't refuse but do you know what? I'm going to miss it. It was a fantastic little car, dead comfy, brilliant to drive and ace on juice. I'd actually go as far as to say it was of the nicest small cars I've ever driven.

[docchevron]

but do you know what? I'm going to miss it. It was a fantastic little car, dead comfy, brilliant to drive and ace on juice. I'd actually go as far as to say it was of the nicest small cars I've ever driven.

AWOOGA AWOOGA Billy's lost his marbles WARNING AWOOGA AWOOGA!!!!

Chevrons good.
Diamond Toilet Bad.

It's a simple equation dude!!!

[cavmad]

Honestly mate it was a mint little drive.


*Goes off to check remaining marbles!

[docchevron]

Thats a polo aint it? The car with a hole!

Or was that atually a minty thing??

Do you love anyone enough to give them your last rolo??


NO, so F&^K OFF!

Blimey, these drugs are good....

[cavmad]

I don't think you need drugs, you seem like one of those full of life type characters mate!

[docchevron]

I thought you knew me Billy! I'm a miserable old misanthrope!

[tim leech]

Damn Ive realised that its the weekend of the new Reg so unsure if I can make it now.

[docchevron]

You'd be busier if you worked in Brizzle mate. I tell all my inbred punters daily that if they dont like the service "buy a bloody car"..

Hopefully they'll take my advice and f%^k off my bus!

[cavmad]

So YOU are the PR man for your company then Doc?

[tim leech]

Hmm have swopped stuff about so I may be there, sorry guys

[docchevron]

So YOU are the PR man for your company then Doc?

You know it mate!!!
The official blurb is:
First Transforming Travel

The actual blurb is:
Worst Terrorising Travel

As a prime example of the sort of inbred turgid tossers I have to deal with comes todays escapades with a haggard old bag in her eighties who really should do the world a favour and die.
See, it's the Balloon fiesta in Bristol at the mo, this means, going anywhere in Bristol near peak time is like sitting on the M25 after a terrorist alert on a bank holiday weekend. So the traffis is sh!te. The centre is grid locked, and I'm 34 minutes late getting there from the bus station, a whole 1/8 of a mile away.
This cantankerous old bag gets on with her OAP pass (so she gets free travel) and complains that I'm late.
I ask her if she has enough eye sight left to see the vast number of cars / coaches / caravans etc that are EVERYBLOODYWHERE and not moving.
Yes, she replies, the traffics awful.
So I enquire as to how the f^&king hell she expects me to get to the stop on time since the traffic is at a standstill and the bus doesn't have wings.
Then I get a torrent of abuse about how crap the bus company is and how much better it was when she was a girl (like when they had horses and carts I guess), so, by this time I'm already reaching for the revolver having had nothing but the same all bloody afternoon from various inbred soap dodgers, so I switch the engine off, get off the bus, fire up a fag and tell the old cow if she can do any better then it's all hers.
By this point the 82 other people already on the bus are getting narky with this old bag (I do the same route at the same time everyday, so most of the punters know me and how, er, renegade I can be) and all start hurling abuse at her.
Feeling better I get back in the hot seat, fire the bus up and drive away.
She gets off in Long Ashton, cant be fagged to say thanks so I hurl a load of abuse at her, cos by then I actuallt really did want to kill people. She tells me she'll have my job for swearing at her. I point out she doesn't have a bus licence so she cant have my job and with any luck she'll have a heart attack before she gets home..

It was just one of those days.....


Sh!te company run by a bunch of incompetant arse lickers.
If they ran the NHS we'd all be dead. I used to love working for Badgerline (ah the good days, way back in the dim and distant), but I'm really on the very brink of telling my morbidly obese boss where he can shove his sh!te job...

Anyway, back OT, why are you sorry Tim?
So long as you dont park the Xantia anywhere near me you'll be right!!
Bring a chair and some beer, get a bit of a beard on and we wont mention that you came to the event in a car sponsored by Satan.. Cant say fairer than that mate!

[cavmad]

Quite possibly the funniest rant I've ever read on an internet. You should come and work at our place mate, we need people like you and not the spineless tossers who seem to be in the majority.
Your positive mental attitude and 'can't do' mentality are just what we need and I'm fast running out of new abusive phrases to launch at truck drivers, snivellers and bosses.

[tim leech]

SO SWINGING BACK On topic boys whos going and on what day?

[docchevron]

You should come and work at our place mate, we need people like you and not the spineless tossers who seem to be in the majority.
Your positive mental attitude and 'can't do' mentality are just what we need and I'm fast running out of new abusive phrases to launch at truck drivers, snivellers and bosses.

It'd be a bit of a cummute Billy, but if I jack the job in down here, I might just do that!

SO SWINGING BACK On topic boys whos going and on what day?

Always been tempted to try some swinging!

Anyhow, I'll be going both days, method as before. I'll turn up saturday eve, get , stay up till 0350, crash in a field for a couple of hours, have breakfast, take the pi$$, maybe fix a car....