Have you put a webcam in my house mate? You honestly couldn`t be closer to the truth if you tried. Some genuine examples from the past:
Mrs Cavmad: Where`s my torch?
Me: Don`t know, I expect the kids have had it.
Truth: I`d sawn it in half and user the body of it to `repair` a Maestro tailpipe.
Mrs Cavmad: Where`s all the `J` cloths?
Me: Oh, the kids spilled their pop and I had to clean it up.
Truth: I shoved them inside a Transit seat which I used her tape to cover with before it went to the auction.
Mrs Cavmad: Where`s my wire wool pan scourers?
Me: What pan scourers?
Truth: They were inside the leading edge of a Fiesta Mk1 bonnet because I couldn`t afford fibreglass and had just enough filler to skim over pan scourers.
Mrs Cavmad: Where`s my `Steps` CD?
Me: Don`t know, but I wouldn`t listen to it if you paid me.
Truth: Blue-tacked to the windscreen of my Transit in a feeble attempt to ward off evil speed cameras.