CAVMAD! One for you?

[cavmad]

Doc: Do we have to wear a Chevron on a chain, ala The Beastie Boys?


Bandit:

Stick to cruisin` round the streets of Cardiff and Bristol,
AK47? You mean your water pistol!
Your AK water shooter sure ain`t all that,
bit like your 16V is more mouse than cat.

Seen you outside Maccy D`s with your fake bling and cheap sneakers,
Status Quo on your 8 track and Harry Moss speakers,
Arm out the window with your Burberry cap showin,
smokin cheap fags and asking chav birds where their going.

Looking for a ride love? Come along with me?
No f*cking chance Bandit, not in a 16V
Thought you had a proper car so I got dressed in my lycra,
I`d rather be seen out in my nan`s f*ck*ng Micra.

Now jog on you cheap skate and buy a proper ride,
something that a bird would want to be seen inside
So go park your `80s relic down the deepest darkest alley,
I`m going out with Billy coz he drives a Cally

Now there`s a lad who`s not afraid to go and spend some cash,
he`s got so much style he gives a girl whiplash
when he`s blastin past in his red top just on a quarter throttle,
and you are 20 miles behind, out of power and outta bottle.

Stick to dreamin of decent cars, like the posters on your wall,
Cavaliers and Novas, anything Vauxhall
Coz your motah`s like your rapping, and there for all to see
as weak and crap as you can get, just like a BX 16-V.

Word up homie

[tom]

Hilarious! Silliest thread we've had for months

[BX Bandit]

Big yourself up Billy, that’s all you can do
When it comes to wimin maan you ain’t got a clue
You think a chick will have you just for your Cally?
A big fat zero is your woman tally

I got lots of chicks that are sniffin’ for some action
They look at my wheels and see I got traction
I love them all……I love them crazily
And they love me back, that’s why they stay with me

So if you got a hard time tryin’ to get laid
It don’t mean nottin if that chick gets paid
Your wheels is the problem cos they just go slow
You’ll never have a fast car claimin’ on the dough

So onto the wheels maan, you think a Cally’s street?
It’s Vectra in a shell suit, ooh that’s really ‘sweet’
No cruising in a Cally – got no credibility
0-60 in 20 seconds you won’t catch me

So I’m 20 miles behind got no power - I’m off da throttle
When racing a Red Top Cally I don’t need no bottle
It’s called a head start make you feel less sad
For losin this battle cos you gonna lose bad

I start my engine and let her warm her up
Have a drink of Tennants from my Burberry cup
I take 1st gear and start to roll
I’ll take it easy…a bit of strole

It don’t take long before I put her in fifth
There’s plenty more left but she goin’ quick
140 on the needle in my 16-v
What out Billy for that Discovery

Big Up To Da Cardeeef Masseeeve

[cavmad]

Listen to the eighties dude his rapping is like spam,
it only serves to pleasure him and this board he wants to jam.
With the ad`s for p.orn and dodgy pills like the one`s your always poppin,
You know the one`s that you love best to stop your Coxafloppin

Maybe if they ever worked and you bought a car that`s lush,
you could cruise down your village centre & pull some quality young tush.
So bin the car, get with the times and your crap image might fade
and you can pull a younger bird not the blue rinse brigade.

Oh here`s another little tip that you might just wanna try to call,
you won`t get many young birds outside the over eighties bingo hall.
But maybe that`s the real reason you hand around these places,
the only birds who remember your car have got wrinkles on their faces

Coz like shell suits and frilly shirts that you still like to wear,
the BX f*ck*n 16V went out with Depeche Mode style hair.
So do yourself a favour and try and get some cred
Ditch your poxy hairdresser`s car and buy a Calibra instead.

[Barnsley BXer]

This is brill.The battle of the rappers

[docchevron]

I'm slain! This is awesome sh!t !
I aint doing no rapping since I'ma punk boy, but non the less!

Anna Lee's on telly again, drooooooooooooool, Gawd Dang that Imogen Stubbs is hot...... HUMNA HUMNA HUMNA

Anyhow, the Bristol Mahoosive (of 1) would beat the Cardiff massif and the Chester Massif, I've got access to Nuclear Warheads!!

Cheers
Chris G

[BX Bandit]

This is getting real, it’s getting serious
Doc’s got involved and he’s delirious
He’ talking sh!t, said he’s got nukes
I bring yo’ ass down and it won’t be a fluke

The Cardiff massive are comin to Bristol
With an AK-47, not a water pistol
That was someone else’s line, that was really Silly
Oh it don’t really matter cos I stole it from Billy

Speakin’ of which, yo Homie from Chester
Lighting pussy ciggies with a cheap swan vesta
Me, I’m hardcore and smoke de ‘erb
It would f&ck you up and leave you da kerb

Gonna come down on you like Niagra
Tellin’ me that I need V1agra
You aint got no women, you’re just a nerd
Your group of pussy we call a herd

So listen up ladies from Chester and Bristol
To me the situation is painfully Crystal
You both goin down and takin nottin wid’ja
Cos you both drive cars like Freddie Dibnah

Calibra is for ladies who want to pull cock
A 16-Valve is for men who rock
So if you’re feeling fruity, I’ll leave you be
I’ll be hardcore in my 16-V

[docchevron]

This is getting real, it’s getting serious
Doc’s got involved and he’s delirious
He’ talking sh!t, said he’s got nukes
I bring yo’ ass down and it won’t be a fluke

This is the Best thread EVER!
Only I'm not delirious Jam Master Bandito, I actually DO have access to nuclear war heads!

So Anna Lee was on telly again last night.. I'm in love again!

Keep rapping kids, this is da bomb!

Cheers
Chris G

[cavmad]

Whoa! What`s going on, you`ve mentioned your mate Doc?
Coz you can`t do this on your own you want him to help you rock?
Well get this young lady, coz you sure ain`t no f*ck*ng bloke,
name dropping the Chevron meister is nothing but a joke

Hey, come back here I think you dropped your rattle,
be a man for the first time and fight solo for your battle
coz it shows that you most certainly have bitten more than you can chew
to call for backup in your hour hour of need coz I am beating you.

I`m a lyrical gangsta spitting out my words of hate
firing wise words at ya while you capitulate
Still waiting for a decent thing from you to report,
but you`re tongue tied and beaten in the face of my retort

So drop the act and get back to life in your South Wales caravan park,
M.C Billy TZD has bombed you out and left you in the dark
Something for you to think about while you`re living in your pit.
You tried to do battle with this M.C but you weren`t armed with wit.

So let me leave ya with this cutting parting shot;
come back when you`re older and your sleeves ain`t full of snot
you ain`t no good at this rapping game your wet behind the ears
so wash them out and listen up when the crowd gives me the cheers.


Westside

[BX Bandit]

Marks and Spencer, Maccy D's
Why the f*ck do you talk about these?
This is hardcore rappin, n killin, n poppin
Not about takin your mama shoppin'

Doc's not on board, he was playing phony
But he does agree that a Cally is pony
I can't be doin with your weak ar$ed funk
The cops are sniffin the stiff in ma trunk

See I had a bit of trouble with a gangsta thats weak
With a cap in his ar$e he ain't ever gonna speak
He thought he was fast and better than me
The body in the trunk? R.I.P Billy

See this is hardcore about drugs 'n' money
I'd rather taste the green than sip the honey
Your ass is weak and can't take the jip,
You got no gangster apprenticeship

You got big long words with attitude
The lyrics are sh1t and the rappin is crude
You're a fake, a phony and fraud and a cheat
Your rappin sounds like the Muth@ Fukk1n Streets


You start out in Pop you better stay in Pop
Pop boys who try and become hardcore.....go Pop

Dig it?

[docchevron]

bbjdifrej
Words fail me! I'm crying ointo my beer, newcastle brown again! times er, 12 ish!

This is fooooooooooooking brill!

The warheads are armed!

Chreers
Chris G

[cavmad]

Forgot you didn`t know these names like Marks and Maccy d`s,
they come to mind for us real dudes from civilised societies
coz when you livin in your cave with nowt but loot and pillage
the rest of us with style and cash are drive by-ing your village

I tried to keep my words real small, just like your little pimple
coz it`s difficult to be understood when I`m talking to one so simple
the only grass you ever smoked made you feel really ill,
caked in dog sh*t and used needles, suprised your with us still

The bumps you have upon your ass are just another tail,
you said it was the pellet shots but it`s the prices for sure in braille
Coz the only way you have a love life is if there`s boat around
face down at the side of the docks getting a sailor`s pound

So stick to living in your dump and pretendin you have style,
a 50`s throwback in a cheap sh*t car that hasn`t been seen in a while.
I find you ain`t got much to say, you really are quite trappy
so stick to late night shopping inside your local scrappy.

Peace in, peace out, or, err, peace off

[cavmad]

The North Vs South BX Rap…


Listen up Bandit here is the (un)official club rap,
`Bout the BX`ers north and south and the difference in the gap
So before you go on spouting off your usual amount of crap
listen to these wise words before you wind up your trap.

The likely lads who live up north are one up on the south,
We have got the the best of everything and all you got is mouth
We got jobs and money and a cracking place to live,
You`ve got f*ck all where you are and nothing left to give

So let us put them side by side to see how you compare,
Southern shandy drinkers versus Northern lads with flair….




Vanny, he`s the scouser and the young one of our bunch,
You get Tom and Oscar, who are always out to lunch
We`ve adopted Sir Ian Fearn, he is our northern bitch
You can keep the likes of Phil and that nut-job Kitch

Bringin on the humour we got BB from York-shire
Burning us with his wit and his words quick fire
Keepin us on track while the rest of you are slow
Though you`ve got an adopted northerner in our mate way2go

Our best weapon is a gentleman called Ken,
Showing up the southereners with class and style again
Your feeble response is that dude Bandit BX
His mouth has the only muscles that he could ever flex

So with Sleepy/Stewart/Gareth/Marty and MC Mr B
We`ve out done you once again it`s there for all to see,
OK you got the Doc and one or two maybe
All you`ve left just after that is fear and jealousy

So while I`m kicking out my harsh words and being fine and dandy
You lot are sitting round supping half a cheap shandy
But while I`m laying down these words and style is goin on
Fo shizzle we all owe one big up to the webmaster called Jon.

[Barnsley BXer]

Billy,that is brill.Up the north

[docchevron]

This soooooo deserves a thread of it's own, a sticky even, for all time to see, the boys got talent, respect from me!

Cheers
Chris G